Monday, October 2, 2017

Goblin Manor Play Reports (Sessions 4-6)

Session 4

The party takes time to rest and recover, packed in with the rest of the refined refugees.  Pendegrast shares the various maps and pieces of maps which have been assembled, none of which are confidence-inspiring.  He also shares with them his sigil, should they need proof of their authority on this mission.  He suggests they might start by asking "Agatha" for advice on how to find the peasants, described as "kinda like a rat" by one of his guards.  A heated debate ensues, splitting the party along    gender lines, over whether stopping to talk to this creature is worthwhile.  Eventually a "play it by ear" compromise is reached, and the party heads out laden with food, ammunition and other supplies.  Breen casts "Identify" on the sigil, discovering that it is also a magic device capable of giving vision to another through the eye emblazoned upon it and generally functioning as a mystical Lojack.  Breen wraps it up to limit its vision to the inside of a pouch.

The party leaves the sanctuary of the nobles' wing and descends to the floor below, immediately finding themselves in a bizzare gobliny cabaret.  Lit by makeshift paper lanterns and soothed by the dulcet tones of a broken accordion, a collection of both goblins and humanfolk sit before a stage.  A dwarf wearing a tiara and pink skirt introduces a magic act, two goblins performing the old saw-the-assistant-in-half routine, which goes exactly as expected.  Digger, glad to finally see another Dwarf, helps stop the bleeding.  Jack sidles up to a woman, "Kelly," and after some initial standoffishness his confident masculinity leads Kelly to open up about the traumatic events of the past few days, clutching Jack and ugly-crying on his shoulder (Jack appears to have seen this going differently.)  "Agatha" then steps onstage, a wizened gnome-like creature who reads the first few pages of a children's alphabet book to great acclaim.  She stops around "C is for Cat" to invite Mefilicent to tea - apparently the party was expected.  Eventually the entire party follows Agatha into her room behind the stage, a bright space covered by hook rugs, needlepoint, and assorted quilts.  Seven teacups are sitting out; Agatha pours tea for everyone present, sits down, and begins to chat as she sips her tea.  Asked about the peasants, she responds, somewhat expectedly, with a riddle - something about a boat.  She then goes on for some time about meaning and purpose, ("Be patient with my children - they are quite young, and have a great ways to go yet to reach their purpose") which is universally judged to be the sort of trite claptrap best reserved for motivational posters.  Feeling their purpose was clear enough for the moment, the party leaves Agatha and exits the cabaret.  To Jack's great relief, Kelly stays behind to assist Agatha.

The party soon comes across the dwarf from the cabaret seated on a bed, smoking something from a substantial hookah, along with several other denizens of the manor.  Digger and the Dwarf engage in a very technical discussion of the proper way to escape a collapsed tower with limited tools.  Jack takes a puff from the hookah, while the others hold back.  After a short while, the Prince walks in.  Digger decides everything he wants to say to the Prince can be summarized by the sharp end of his axe, and immediately attacks. Jack, suspecting something is amiss, draws on inner resources to shake off this hallucination.  Digger, seeing the Prince's nonplussed reaction to being savaged with an axe, relies on his hardy constitution to do the same.  They leave the room with the rest of the party, who notice something attempting to break in from beneath the floorboards on their way out.

The bedroom opens into a large art gallery, occupied by a single goblin who seems to have managed to decorate every one of the priceless paintings with a mustache or a penis.  Proud of his work, he runs off at the sound of a large patrol of goblins coming from the next hallway.   A pair of goblin riders emerges, trailed by a number of others with crossbows and a well-dressed goblin in a cage.  Jack and Digger stop them before they can enter the gallery, and they demand proper documentation and an account of how many individuals are in tow.  Jack bluffs, "Twenty."  The goblin leader responds, after a brief consultation, "Okay, give nine."  (Apparently there was an incident of some sort that completely decimated the goblins' kitchen staff, and they need to compensate for the disruption in food production.)  Judging that negotiations had come to an end, Jack attacks without warning, dropping the leader instantly.  Two goblins fire harpoons from behind the bird-beasts, missing harmlessly.  A third fires a harpoon directly into the tuckus of the now-riderless bird-beast, which panics and charges into the gallery, dragging the goblin behind.  (Mefilicent stomps on it for good measure.)  Breen manages to leap on the creatures' back and spends the rest of the combat riding it in circles, attempting to regain control.  Jack whips out two hand crossbows and fires, managing to dispatch a goblin with each bolt.  Digger swings his axe, and Mefilicent transforms into a giant-she bear, barreling into the fray.  The bear decisively ends the combat, finishing off the last bird-beast with a vicious bite.  The party considers questioning the goblin in the cage, but thinks better of it and fires their crossbows into the cage.

The party proceeds down the hallway, passing by a small theater where a collection of goblins and humans watches a grisly sort of puppet show, the goblin actors holding up severed human heads.  Realizing the passage feeds into the "Dining Hall" they skirted earlier (and thus hundreds of hungry goblins), they turn into an apparently abandoned chapel.

Goblin Manor, Session 5

The party proceeds into the abandoned chapel, a strange relic for a kingdom which has largely left such things behind.  Their keen eyes pick out a suspicious arrangement of tarps and pallets near the rafters, mixed in with other half-completed but long-abandoned renovation.  A voice demands that they stop, and an uneasy truce is negotiated.  The party offers some of their surplus food and water to a rugged-looking pistoleer who descends from the rafters.  Sensing that she is withholding something, Breen draws upon her Bardic powers and discerns a number of guarded secrets:  The woman, Jenessa, was not here for the party, but on some sort of mission, apparently convinced something sinister had been occurring in the manor (perhaps not a great surprise at this point).  She is also protecting something or someone, still hidden in the rafters.  Breen, unsatisfied, decides to climb up and see for herself.  Conversation abruptly halts, as Jenessa draws her pistols and aims them at the gnome.  A tense standoff ensues, with lots of yelling, which is resolved when Breen decides to keep on climbing.  Jenessa fires both pistols, instantly blowing Breen to the ground, rendering her unconscious and dying.  Mefilicent causes the floorboards to warp around Jenessa, rendering her immobile, while Digger employs a Mancatcher lifted from the goblins to pin her to the ground.  Jenessa fires again, only to have one of the primitive firearms explode in her face.  Meflicent resolves the situation by once more transforming into a bear and restraining Jenessa, who is disarmed by Jack.  Digger rushes over to save the dying Breen, employing his Ranger-craft to heal her.  The party attempts to assure Jenessa of their good intentions to no avail, as Breen, ever-curious, explores what Jenessa was hiding.

She discovers a young-woman, unconscious but alive, who seems to have been half-converted into some sort of mechanical harpy.  Digger, annoyed at having been placed in this situation and preferring Jenessa to Breen for the moment, attempts to hurl Breen off the scaffolding.  She leaps away, and the two run around in circles for some time.  The party, feeling guilty about their actions but unable to make amends, leaves the Pistoleer and her charge, perhaps sobered and certainly contemplating their position on the alignment chart.

A door in the back of the chapel opens into a richly appointed parlor, with a finely dressed family sitting motionless.  It quickly becomes clear that they are all dead, having either died or been posed in this position.  Jack finds some jewelry, which he pockets.  Leading off from this room is an elegant office, seemingly untouched save a dark, wet spot on the rug leading in.  Ever-curious (and perhaps wanting to atone for the climbing incident), Breen steps into the room, only to have the floor beneath her rocket into the ceiling.  In an impressive display of agility she manages to tumble off and avoid being crushed.  Now inside, the trap becomes clear, as the ceiling is caked with the gory remains of less-nimble explorers.  Noting the windows, though barred, are unusually (for the manor) unboarded, she looks outside.  She sees a goblin army encamped around the manor, but this view is interrupted by a woman's face which inexplicably appears in the window.  The woman tilts her head quizzically and asks "Would you please give me a hand?"  The party, somewhat creeped out, quickly discerns this will not end well, and that this strange woman is almost certainly one of the harpies Pendegrast described.  They leave, but not before Breen rummages through the desk for writing supplies and a few stray coins.

The parlor leads out into a hallway, covered in rich tapestries and with several doors leading off.  The end of the hall is covered in some sort of foul-smelling green substance, marked by a sign with elegant script, "Please excuse our mess."  Digger searches the tapestries for images of boats and quickly finds one, discovering a hidden passage behind it.  The party set off down the passage to find a goblin standing in front of a barricade, arguing with two humans ensconced behind said barricade.  "Just send one out!" it pleads, apparently thinking supper may be immanent.  With a word and gesture Mefilicent paralyzes the goblin, who growls in frustration as it is taken away.  Returning to the barricade, the party finds a man wearing a metal pot for a helmet and a woman in a scullery maid's dress, both aiming crossbows at them.  When asked, "Can we come in?" they discuss with one another, then ask that the party wait while a decision is made.  After well over an hour, none other than Reginald appears at the barricade, lowering down a rope ladder and welcoming them in.

Reginald leads them to a room where a dozen or so men and women sit in a circle.  One holds up a spoon and offers words of welcome.  Another, a woman with fierce black hair, takes issue with some of his word choices, but is momentarily prevented from speaking by the others, who insist that she wear the "hat of dissent." A well-dressed young man takes the spoon and shares his feelings about the new arrivals and the other things he has feelings about.  A painfully circular discussion quickly emerges on the cruciality of a correct, fully democratic process, the need to be vigilant against the formation of new systems of rank and privilege, and a series of similar issues.  Mefilicent, finding her place in the conversation, takes the spoon and introduces herself, ingratiating herself and the party through both using the correct process and her infectious, relentless positivity.  Other party members attempt to raise issues of plans and priorities, only to have such concerns swiftly tabled in favor of more pressing procedural issues.  Disguising their lack of appreciation for the peasants' prefigurative politics, the party extracts themselves from the meeting and asks Reginald to show them around the compound.

Goblin Manor, Session 6

The party explores the wing seized by the peasant revolutionaries, finding an abundance of art supplies and a dearth of ways out.  Bypassing the art room, the jeweler's workshop, and the tailoring areas, their attention is drawn to a parlor where three earnest peasants have formed the "Get the fuck out committee."  As they pour over makeshift maps the most striking suggestion is repeatedly advanced by Berthold, a hulking gentleman with an excellent mustache, who proposes the construction and firing of a catapult.  The identification of numerous logistical problems does nothing to dampen Berthold's spirit.  Rachel, last seen in the Goblin market, is also in this small group, alongside a combative young man named Sean.

Weary from fighting, the party decides to take time to rest, some in the clothing-optional communal sleeping area, and some in more private quarters.  Mefilicent turns into a bear, but before she can doze off she is set upon by Steve, who was impressed by her enthusiasm in the open meeting.  He leads her to the art room and shows her his "vision board," a "little magic of my own."  Mefilicent, still a bear, makes her own vision board, shredding paper and textiles with her massive claws and clumsily pushing them around.  She finally heads to bed, odd pieces of cloth still affixed to her snout.

It is not long the following morning before a tremendous crash is heard, and bedlam ensues as the peasants rush to respond.  Apparently the nobles are outside the barricade, having been led here by the players, and are demanding that the peasants quit all this nonsense and make more rational choices.  Negotiations seem difficult - "The only thing you have to offer, and all we need, is your submission" - and are definitively ended when Digger makes an improbable crossbow shot, the bolt arcing over the ranks of armored foes and imbedding itself in Lord Pendegrast's (the Elder) shoulder.  Horribly offended, the tall woman declares, "How rude!  You all stink!"  Through some arcane incantation, the area behind the barricade fills with a noxious gas, making many of the would-be defenders sick.  Panic ensues, and makeshift weapons are readied.  One woman tells Breen, "Don't let this die here...tell the story, of what we made, of what we achieved, in this brief, glorious time!"

The barricade finally falls and armored guards begin to pour through.  A vicious battle ensues, with several of the idealistic peasants meeting gruesome ends.  Mefilicent works her magic and traps many in the hallway; one of the guards in mechanical armor is trapped and immobilized as some key part of his suit breaks.  The other storms in, now a cruel iron helm making him appear utterly inhuman.  A gas pours out from the helm's snout, and several of the defenders - including Breen - find themselves immobilized.  His fists swing with frightening power, bringing down defenders with every blow.

Digger seizes a piece of fabric art from the art room and waves it like a flag, attempting to lead a retreat through the rear door.  Some join, but others proclaim that they would rather die here, free.  These fight on, and while a number of guards fall, more pour in.  Recognizing immanent defeat, Jack runs to join Digger, slinging the immobilized Breen over his shoulder as he runs (Breen continues firing her crossbow on the way out).  Mefilicent, bear-raging, charges in the opposite direction, offering her back to the peasants cut off from escape.  Several of them grab on, and she charges back towards Digger, taking a savage blow from the mechanical guard in the process.

The party, along with a dozen survivors, make their way down the spiral staircase to the lower level, disassembling the back barricade and preparing an ambush around the stairs.  A fearful calm ensues, as they hear shuffling and shouting above.  Pendegrast makes a plea for a reasonable resolution to this situation, and the party suggests he is welcome to come down and discuss things.  A guard begins to descend the staircase, and is immediately cut down by the waiting defenders.  The party insists that Pendegrast himself comes down, which he firmly rejects, citing the negative experience of the guard.  Realizing this stalemate will not end in their favor, the party begins leading the peasants out the back door and down the corridor, as Breen buys time by engaging Pendegrast in debate.  Finding his architectural skills once again useful, Digger manages to collapse the archway after the last of the group is securely in the hallway.


The party knows that "Strong's goblins" lie ahead, but little more.  Having made their choice, they proceed into the darkness...

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